6:00 AM.
I managed to get up, at least.
Right, I said I’d run with her, so I had to keep that promise.
The running was part of preparing for this audition anyway, so I was willing to help that far.
I shut off my phone alarm with a groggy mind.
Then… I pulled up Ahyeon’s contact and just stared at it, fiddling with the screen.
“…Haah.”
I let out a long, low sigh by myself.
Then I pressed the hold button on the side of the phone and shut the screen off.
Yeah, what was I even agonizing over?
I could blame it on habit, call it a habitual action.
I changed my clothes and stepped out the front door.
For some reason, my footsteps felt incredibly heavy.
I couldn’t blame the early morning for this—in the past, my steps at this moment didn’t feel like this.
Far from heavy, they were light and excited. Because it was the moment I was about to go see Choi Ahyeon.
But in just a single day, the mood of those footsteps had changed.
And I didn’t exactly welcome that shift in my emotions. Something felt strange.
I figured it was probably because it was unfamiliar.
With those heavy steps, I stepped outside.
“She’s… still asleep, huh.”
Considering I hadn’t received any calls or texts on my phone…
Choi Ahyeon was apparently still sleeping.
Well, it wasn’t like I actually expected her to wake up on her own today.
If you told me to bet my entire life savings on it, I’d put everything on her not getting up.
She’s probably relying on that same habit, just like when I was fiddling with my phone earlier.
Of course, habits don’t change that easily.
Honestly… she’s pretty carefree, isn’t she. That thought crept into my mind.
Here I was, agonizing over this subtle yet unmistakable shift in emotions since I left the front door.
And there she was, sleeping peacefully, making me feel like I was the one making a big deal out of nothing.
After what happened yesterday, shouldn’t she at least try to wake up…
And that sight… felt like it represented our relationship right now.
Maybe it represented us all along.
To me, this was a relationship and a person I treasured so much… but to Choi Ahyeon, it wasn’t.
Even if we were in the same situation, facing the same incident… the way we took it in was bound to be different.
…
As I kept walking, my heavy steps led me to the front of Choi Ahyeon’s house.
Even with those heavy steps, my destination had been clear all along.
Could I still hide behind the excuse of habit for this too?
I stood there blankly for a while.
How long was I there?
10 minutes? It didn’t feel like 10 minutes. Or maybe it was. I don’t know.
Yeah, after about 10 minutes… I hurriedly hid that foolish sight of myself.
Just as I was about to turn back home.
-Ring ring♬
My phone rang.
It was almost laughable. She slept soundly the whole time, only to call at that very last moment.
[Hello]
[Jino!! I’m sorry!! I really set all my alarms but… I must’ve turned them all off without realizing. Haah… Where are you? Are you outside? I’ll get ready and head out right now!! I’m really sorry]
The moment I picked up, Ahyeon blurted that out.
She was trying her best, even with her voice still thick with sleep.
As I took the call, I gazed at Ahyeon’s house.
[It can’t be helped]
[Haah, I think it’s because I always turn off my alarm the second it rings, then wait for your call, and get up after picking up]
[That makes sense. It’s not easy to change something you’re used to in just one day.]
[Yeah… Anyway, I’ll head out right now. Where are you?]
Ahyeon asked.
Well, time-wise, even if she ran now, there was more than enough time.
But…
[…]
I paused for a moment.
Still staring up at Ahyeon’s house.
My mouth was open, but the words wouldn’t easily come out.
As if they were stuck inside, circling around and refusing to leave.
[I’m at home too]
I finally managed to force it out.
[Really? Then, let’s meet in the middle…]
Ahyeon continued her sentence the moment mine ended.
But my sentence wasn’t meant to end there.
Rather, it wasn’t time for Ahyeon to pick up where I left off.
[I was planning to head out only if you called after waking up. If you’re too tired, just go back to sleep. You can sleep a little more. It’s a bit tight to run now anyway.]
[Oh…]
Ahyeon let out that frail sound, dragging it out.
She looked like someone whose words had caught in her throat.
[Anyway, try waking up earlier next time?]
And with that, I started wrapping up the call.
[But… still, if I don’t contact you, you could at least… call me]
Ahyeon said with a hurt tone.
Maybe she wanted to say I was being too childish.
Or maybe she wanted to say I was acting too cold-hearted.
Yeah, my actions probably were a little childish.
But I couldn’t help it. The outward behavior might be childish, but the mindset behind it was anything but.
In fact… this place I’m standing at right now. In front of Choi Ahyeon’s house.
A fool like me who already dragged himself all the way here…
It wasn’t easy to just say, “let’s do it next time” or “today’s a wash.”
[Well… saying it like that doesn’t make any sense. That’s why. Anyway… I’m hanging up now]
My words felt like they weren’t just meant for Ahyeon.
[Yeah…]
***
At school.
A day had passed, and instead of dying down, it was as if I’d gained even more notoriety.
The number of stares flinching at the sight of me had increased.
It wasn’t just my imagination—it really felt that way.
And those stares showed no sign of fading.
Yeah, for someone as utterly ordinary and even introverted as me.
They were terrifying stares.
“Hey… that’s him.”
“Oh, the one from Insta yesterday?”
“He must be so embarrassed.”
“How does he even show his face at school.”
It was torture.
To the point where I wondered how I was supposed to keep coming to school.
I just prayed inwardly that this whole thing would blow over quickly.
Honestly, I understood it in my head.
Things like this always get forgotten soon enough. Just give it time… it’ll pass.
Still, it wasn’t easy.
As I was climbing the stairs to the classroom, I ran into Choi Ahyeon.
She was linking arms with those friends of hers.
“Hey… it’s him…!! Hehe!! What do we do!!”
“Ahyeona! Ahyeona!”
Her friends spotted me first and… reacted like that.
Like, “Oh, your boyfriend is passing by.” Yeah, I never imagined I’d be the main character of that scenario.
Anyway, what was so funny and exciting about it?
Really… it’s amazing.
How such opposite reactions can come from both sides.
I bit my lower lip lightly, enduring the churning agitation in my chest.
It wasn’t because I was angry at them.
I wanted to endure the humiliation and shame.
“Oh… hey, what are you guys doing. Stop it.”
Ahyeon turned her head late, looked at me, then quickly turned back to her friends and said that.
I didn’t intend to say anything about that action.
From Ahyeon’s position, she was probably just as embarrassed. That was likely the best she could do.
At least at school, Ahyeon definitely had her own awkward position because of this incident.
Maybe at school… she was in a worse spot than me.
Depending on who you ask… no, actually, most students would think that way.
That I, with no sense of the room, had rashly revealed my feelings to a girl way out of my league. As if I’d pulled some kind of confession attack.
Yeah, that was the current public opinion.
As if Ahyeon was the innocent victim.
Other kids don’t know what our relationship is like. So it’s only natural.
And because of that, I was even more screwed. I think of myself as the pitiful victim, but the reality is, the majority’s eyes are turned against me.
I felt like I was going to lose my mind.
Because of that… I hesitated for a long time at the back door of the classroom.
Because the moment I stepped in, I’d have to face more stares and whispers.
“Hey, what are you doing? Let’s go in.”
What snapped me out of it was… Junyong.
Yeah, the only person who knows the full story.
I was relieved. I didn’t realize that having even one person on my side would be such a huge support.
.
.
.
I went into the classroom with Junyong and sat down.
Junyong glanced at me carefully, then.
“So what happened? Did she apologize to you separately?”
He asked, curious about the full story.
“She… did apologize, but.”
I said that much, then mulled over the rest while thinking.
Should I honestly tell him about how I plan to treat Ahyeon from now on…
“But?”
“Just… it’s complicated.”
I ended up trailing off.
Yeah, it’s not like I did something great that I should be bragging about.
And me saying out loud that I’m going to distance myself just sounds ridiculous too.
“Well, that makes sense. Honestly, that’s a total humiliation.”
Junyong sympathized with my position.
I didn’t really respond, just nodded with a bitter expression to answer.
“Dude. Wanna blow it off today?!”
Then Junyong said with a playful voice.
“What?”
“Wanna hit the PC bang? Are you good at games? Or karaoke? Ah, your singing is fucking awful though.”
That made me let out a small laugh.
I wondered just how awful it had to be for him to react like that.
“Hmm…“
“Dude, you’re actually thinking about it? Looks like it’s getting hard to keep up the depressed act?”
“It’s… not an act, you idiot.”
“Anyway, let’s go. After school, let’s run it.”
“Yeah, okay. Karaoke, let’s go.”
I regained a sliver of energy.
But even so… there was still something nagging at me.
Ahyeon’s audition date was slowly approaching.
And around this time… she’d ask me to help with her script reading.
Thinking back on past audition experiences.
…Well, does it matter? Unless Ahyeon brings it up first, there’s no need.
As I thought about it more carefully.
The fact that I decided on that timing, the fact that I’d feel like I should be her script reading partner around now.
It was all residue I had created.
Because I was the one who always asked Ahyeon around this time if her audition prep was going well.
Then I’d naturally join in and help, even though I didn’t know much.
So if I don’t bring it up first… maybe Ahyeon will just let it slide too.
Yeah, then that’ll be fine.
.
.
.
“Today… I’ll show you the essence of music.”
“Oh, we’re screwed. Then, I’ll counter with the essence of dance.”