When I came to my senses, I was at home.
There was a moment when I really thought I was going to die like that.
My head suddenly spun, everything went black… and it glittered with countless stars, like I was staring into the universe.
And… I’m truly grateful.
If Jino hadn’t been there beside me, I might have been left alone like that… and things could have gotten really dangerous.
“I’m hungry…. Jino, I’m hungry.”
Lying in bed, I said that to Jino.
My stomach was growling, and I needed to take my medicine… but I had no energy to do any of it.
I also wanted to eat something Jino made for me for the first time in a while.
And… lately, he seemed to be getting pretty close with Sohee, so I guess I wanted to test our relationship a bit more.
“Alright, I’ll make you some porridge.”
Luckily, Jino said he would.
Just like always. Just like the Jino I knew. He accepted my request without a single complaint.
See… it wasn’t anything like I thought.
Sohee is just a friend I introduced to him, so that’s why they got close.
She’s such a kind and sociable person, so it makes sense they’d become close quickly.
Phew… I was worried over nothing.
Worried….
I mean… he’s my best friend…! It’s just a little weird when he suddenly seems super close with some other girl.
I guess you could say the whole thing just felt unfamiliar and awkward.
Ah! Forget it! Anyway!!
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.
.
So I ate the porridge Jino made, just like always.
The warm porridge going down my throat gave me a warm sense of relief in my heart.
And… it was incredibly delicious.
I don’t know if Jino is a good cook or not, but it’s strange how his food always fits my taste perfectly.
I didn’t know egg porridge could taste this good!
I ate it enthusiastically with that thought.
And as I ate, a thought suddenly crossed my mind.
“Honestly… I don’t know what I’d do without you, Jino.”
That kind of thought.
Even though I only meant to think it, the words slipped out of my mouth before I knew it.
Well, it worked out. Today, I really would have been in big trouble without Jino.
And that was my way of expressing gratitude.
And also a way of saying I hope we keep getting along like this from now on.
Even without saying the word “thanks” out loud, Jino would understand.
Because it’s Jino… I believed he’d understand the meaning behind my words.
He’s the kind of person who puts up with my whining and silently accepts me when I’m being a brat.
This time it took a bit longer, but in the end, Jino doesn’t actually want to cut ties with me either, right?
Right, there’s no way Jino would ever cut me off. I mean… who else would he be that close with besides me?
And it’s not like Sohee is that close to him either. If I think about it more carefully, it’s because of me that the two of them even look close in the first place.
Yeah, why am I still worrying? We already made up, and it’s all over.
I couldn’t clearly explain the exact reason, but somewhere deep inside me, that confidence was planted.
“Well… we’ll get by somehow.”
That’s the answer that came back from Jino.
I figured he caught the meaning of my words and deflected like that out of embarrassment.
I know Jino’s personality. When you praise him like that, he gets shy and embarrassed and acts out.
Yeah… just as Jino knows me well, I know him just as well.
That’s what I thought.
***
So I ended up skipping all of my morning classes and only arrived at school by lunchtime.
Ah, of course… it’s not like I was just slacking off.
I had plenty of reason to miss them.
I mean, someone collapsed right in front of my eyes… what was I supposed to do?
Anyone would have done the same.
“Hey, you… you’re just now walking in?”
Junyong, who sits behind me, immediately struck up a conversation when he saw me showing up late.
“There was a situation.”
“A situation? You came to school fine even after that worst disaster in human history, and now you’re telling me there’s a situation that tops that?”
“……”
Honestly, hearing that, I was so impressed by his wit that I had nothing to say.
Even I thought it was funny, so my lips, which had been dead serious, twitched on their own.
This guy. “The worst disaster in human history,” he says.
“Anyway… what I was trying to say is, that girl from the Entertainment Department. Sohee? She came looking for you.”
“Lee Sohee? Why…?”
“I don’t know either. She was pacing around your seat, then suddenly she started talking to me and scared the hell out of me.”
“What did she say?”
“She asked if you came today. So I said no.”
Hmm…
Why would she come looking for me?
I don’t have any particular reason for her to come find me today.
“Okay, got it.”
“Why, are you gonna go see her?”
“I should. She came looking for me…”
“So you’re willingly walking right into the tiger’s den.”
Junyong said that, looking at me with a face full of concern.
This guy always acts like this whenever Sohee comes up.
.
.
.
And so I head toward the Entertainment Department.
Honestly, up until then, I was walking without much thought.
But as I got closer to that classroom… I started to feel a bit hesitant.
Yeah, that’s right. That’s the place where the girls who once dragged me into hell are.
It makes me wonder again whether it’s truly a rational decision for me to show my face in that classroom.
Well… still.
Yeah, it’s all buried now, isn’t it.
With that thought, I carefully open the back door of the Entertainment Department classroom.
In the noisy atmosphere, it seems no one has noticed my bold intrusion yet.
Where’s Lee Sohee’s seat?
I want to spot her quickly and call her out into the hallway.
“Hi, Jino!”
While I was standing at the back door, caught on that ambiguous boundary between the hallway and the classroom, searching for Sohee with my eyes.
Suddenly, a voice greeted me while tapping my shoulder from behind.
“You scared me….”
That reaction naturally slipped out first.
In response, Sohee flashed me a bright grin.
“Why are you here?!”
“I heard you came looking for me this morning.”
“Well, you could’ve just texted me!”
It’s true that I could have just contacted her through my phone…
I don’t know how to put it, but honestly, I still don’t think Sohee and I are at the level where we casually text each other one-on-one.
It feels… a bit burdensome.
“Ah… I just thought it’d be easier to come directly.”
“Why? You already have my contact info, but you never send me a single message. That’s so mean.”
“I’ll… yeah. Anyway, why were you looking for me? I just got to school.”
I didn’t have a good answer for that, so I just let it trail off.
“Ahyeon didn’t come to school either… and she’s not answering her phone. I thought maybe you knew something, Jino, so I went to check.”
So that was the reason.
That makes sense… she’d have every reason to.
“She collapsed this morning while running.”
“What? Really? Why?! Is she sick?”
“Yeah, she has tonsillitis. Her tonsils were really swollen… and she must have had a really high fever.”
“I see… poor Ahyeon.”
Sohee made a sad face like it was her own problem, showing how worried she was about Ahyeon.
Then she seemed to think about something on her own, falling into thought for a moment.
“So, Jino… is that why you’re late? Because you helped Ahyeon?”
That question came out of her mouth.
I thought it was a natural line of reasoning.
“Yeah, that’s right. I went with her to the emergency room, then took her home. That’s why I’m late.”
“Wow… that’s amazing. Ahyeon must have been totally touched.”
Sohee said that while looking up at me.
I wonder.
Would Choi Ahyeon ever feel something like gratitude toward me?
Well… honestly, even back then, I wasn’t acting with those kinds of calculations in mind.
I just moved according to what my body told me I had to do.
“Anyone would have done the same, even if it wasn’t me.”
“Yeah…. So, is Ahyeon doing okay now?”
“Probably? She ate her porridge fine, and she took her medicine after that. She seemed to be doing better.”
“I was wondering why you came so late…! So you were this late because you even took care of her!”
Sohee pointed out the hole in my story.
I mean… if I had just dropped her off at home, I probably would have arrived around second or third period.
Sohee’s surprisingly sharp, huh?
She has this image of being super gentle and kind, so I figured she’d have that ditzy, airheaded charm too.
“I guess so…”
I said that while rubbing the back of my head for no reason.
“But it’s amazing…. Taking care of every little thing for her like she’s family.”
Sohee said that while rolling her eyes.
The way she said it felt cautious somehow. Like she was testing the waters, watching my reaction.
“Ah… well, we’ve been childhood friends for so long… so it just comes naturally. Also, I’ve always liked taking care of people.”
I had to talk about it as if it was all in the past now.
Yeah, soon it would all be a thing of the past anyway.
“I see… childhood friends…”
Sohee murmured those words to herself.
Then, she spoke up again.
“Is that just how childhood friends are…?”
That question from Sohee put me in a tough spot.
It was the kind of difficult question where no answer comes easily.
It was phrased as a question, but somehow, it sounded like a scolding aimed at me.
Because of that, I opened my mouth, thought for a bit… and then.
“I guess not. I guess I’m just a pushover.”
I answered that way, almost like I was berating myself.
Yeah, in the beginning… I told myself I was the one who chose to take on that role. I said I was doing it because I wanted to, and that it was only right to help where I could.
So I never thought of myself as a pushover.
But… now I realize that’s not true. I’ve come to realize I’m a pushover.
And what’s worse, I didn’t even realize it on my own… Choi Ahyeon forced me to see it.
Yeah, even that process of realization was decorated in misery.
And despite all that, the reason I’m still doing this… is for my own selfish farewell.
Well, of course, this whole “audition” business is also holding me back.
Looking back on it now, I guess I should think of it as an unintended blessing.
Anyway… that simple question from Sohee had me lost in deep thought.
And Sohee snapped me back to reality.
“Huh? No way-! Ahyeon is the lucky one here! She has a childhood friend like Jino. Right?”
Sohee said that with such a bright, clean voice.
I chose to blame myself, but Sohee called it something special instead.
Hearing that… I feel a strange mix of emotions.
Because I’m hearing these words from Sohee, someone with no relation to any of this.
Especially lately…
Unlike Choi Ahyeon, who never even says thank you, Sohee keeps expressing her gratitude.
……
Who exactly am I accepting comfort from like this?
Yeah, I’m not the kind of person who should be comforted by words like that anymore.
“Ah, yeah.”
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